It's because my mother died this time of year.
Eleven out of the twelve months of the year I try to be as patient, diplomatic, understanding and as easy going as possible almost to a point of nausea according to some people, but I do have my moment to which I feel entitled to be a bit more frank, sharp and no holds bar. So DON'T TREAD ON ME!
Welcome everyone to my once a year menstrual cycle!!!!
My one wish during this time of year is for people to pull their heads out of their butts and be a little more smart, understanding and aware! Just be a little more kind...because you don't know what other people might be facing in their lives. I always try to be as delicate when approaching people about situations that I feel infringe upon me and make me feel uncomfortable, but, it seems on the flip side that other people feel it's OK to either walk on me, disregard my opinions and/or feelings...and it's very frustrating.
Normally, I wouldn't be this sensitive to all this, as we all face similar situations every day but it's just an emotional time for me.
My mother, who was just in her mid-fifties passed away January 2004 after over a year struggle with a rare Leukemia. She was/is my best friend...the person I could go to when I needed to laugh, cry or vent...and very sadly that all changed. It's been rough...it's rough losing someone you love. I've been walking around since that year like a zombie watching other friends or complete strangers interacting with their moms...and I get so jealous, then sad, then angry, then sad again...etc. This past year I have made some rather huge steps in growth and maturity in dealing with her death but it's still hard.
I don't need any ones sympathy or kind words...I have had my share of those...I just need people to stand back and allow me to be me, and to treat me with a bit more dignity. In a few weeks, I will be back to my normal self loaded with oodles of patience and understanding but for now...I just don't have the energy.