"Strip Me" - Natasha Bedingfield

I enjoy this video.

A Family Festival...??????

So, I was driving along the other day when I noticed that the vehicle infront of me had an odd shaped sticker in their back window.  As I pulled up behind them I noticed what it said and it all made sense.

"Testical Festival"

Now, what the crap do you do at a testical festival? 

Are you not allowed in if you aren't the proud owner of a pair?? 

Or do you get in half price if you are missing one due to a random sports injury involving a sharp object??  Can you take your kids?? 

So many questions...I must find out more concerning this "Testicle Festival".

Let It Snow!!!

Yesterday the snow just came dumping down...but it was really wet.  Well, then the temperature dropped and froze everything plus it continued to snow...so driving conditions are wonderfully awful. LOL.  I am feeling this weather A LOT, even though I am sure others hate it. 

I say, BRING IT ON MOTHER NATURE!!!!

IF I SEEM A BIT ON EDGE...

It's because my mother died this time of year. 

Eleven out of the twelve months of the year I try to be as patient, diplomatic, understanding and as easy going as possible almost to a point of nausea according to some people, but I do have my moment to which I feel entitled to be a bit more frank, sharp and no holds bar.  So DON'T TREAD ON ME!

Welcome everyone to my once a year menstrual cycle!!!!

My one wish during this time of year is for people to pull their heads out of their butts and be a little more smart, understanding and aware!  Just be a little more kind...because you don't know what other people might be facing in their lives.  I always try to be as delicate when approaching people about situations that I feel infringe upon me and make me feel uncomfortable, but, it seems on the flip side that other people feel it's OK to either walk on me, disregard my opinions and/or feelings...and it's very frustrating.

Normally, I wouldn't be this sensitive to all this, as we all face similar situations every day but it's just an emotional time for me. 

My mother, who was just in her mid-fifties passed away January 2004 after over a year struggle with a rare Leukemia.  She was/is my best friend...the person I could go to when I needed to laugh, cry or vent...and very sadly that all changed.  It's been rough...it's rough losing someone you love.  I've been walking around since that year like a zombie watching other friends or complete strangers interacting with their moms...and I get so jealous, then sad, then angry, then sad again...etc.  This past year I have made some rather huge steps in growth and maturity in dealing with her death but it's still hard. 

I don't need any ones sympathy or kind words...I have had my share of those...I just need people to stand back and allow me to be me, and to treat me with a bit more dignity.  In a few weeks, I will be back to my normal self loaded with oodles of patience and understanding but for now...I just don't have the energy.

Thanks.

Back to Work...

Ugh...I know I had 5 days off for the holidays but it still feels like I am back at work too soon.  But, I guess that is something I will have to get used to as an "adult", lol.  I should be thankful that I only work 3 days this week as we get this Friday off as well...so, yeah, I am grateful. :)
Christmas was alright.  I spent it very low key...not doing too much.  I got some very nice gifts and I am thankful for my family and friends who thought enough of me to get me something.  I LOVE my humidifier...thanks Georgina!!!

I really didn't have that much time to really think about much though over the holidays.  Usually I spend most of my time in deep meditation but not this year...or at least not yet.  Maybe this is a sign that I am maturing or learning how to cope?  This could be a positive change.

However, I have been thinking about my mom and how she will be gone now 7 years this January.  That is just ridiculous to think about.  My mind has a hard time wrapping around that one...but there it is nonetheless.  I do miss my mom greatly...and there are so many days that I wish she were here.  Sometimes I just need to talk to her...about things I know only she would understand.  For now I will just have to cope with the assistance of family and friends and a good therapist. lol.

Everyone will be happy to know that my puppy hunger has died down.  I am no longer desiring the companionship of a cuddly puppy...but who knows how long that will last. haha. 

I do often wonder though how everything will work its way out in the long term of my life.  Will it just be me and a dog....will there be a family?  I still don't quite know...but in the meantime I guess I am just happy to be working on me and taking it all one day at a time.

Walking In A Winter Wonderland

This is the view from the window close to my desk at work.  I enjoy just looking over and seeing all the snow just falling to the ground.  It makes the Christmas season more festive!!!

Holy Crap I Want A Puppy

So, I love dogs.  I grew up on a farm with lots of animals and so therefore I have in general a love for all animals.Well, for quite some time I have been wanting a puppy of my own, I had one a few years ago but had to give him up because I had to move into a place that didn't accept animals.  Well, now I live in a place that does, however, I am never home enough during the day to really give a dog the attention it needs.  Luckily though one of my roomates has a dog, a very playful Doberman, and so that has been nice even though I feel more partial to smaller/medium sized dogs.  Then yesterday I come home and there is a new addition to the pack...one of my roomates adopted a little 5 month old Chihuahua/Terrier mix and it is very cute.  Well, you would think that all these dogs around me would squelch my desire for one of my own...HA!  Nope!  I want one too!!  I have been looking at and falling in love with the Mini Aussie breed for some time now and there is a CKC Registered Breeder here in Utah and so I periodically look at their website.  And this adorable pup is just calling my name.....

I am such a sucker for a cute face! LOL.  Well, anyway...I prob won't get her because again, I am not home enough to care and train properly for her.  But, here's hoping some day soon I will!!! :)

All I Want For Christmas...

1. 
2.     
3.   
4.       
5.         

Getting A Grip On Things To Come

So, it is almost Christmas and I am very much looking forward to the vacation time.  I feel like my life is in constant "run mode" and I am ready for a couple days of "walk mode" or better yet, "crawl mode".  I know however, that starting in January that I will be finding new joys in "sprint mode" as I will be going to UVU and taking a 9 credit semester load.  I will be taking an Advanced Spanish class, Political Science (wish this Canadian luck in an American Government class), and a Sociology class.  In spite of the hell that will be my schedule, I am rather looking forward to all of it.  Full-time job, part-time job and part-time student will be an ADVENTURE for sure.  I hope I am ready for it...I think I am. 

Beyond all that craziness, Christmas being around the corner I am seriously trying to get into the Christmas mood...but I am finding it hard to do.  I think if it were to snow more that would suit me just fine. I love a big, white blanket of snow on the ground, trees, houses, and cars!  It just makes me smile. :)  And, perhaps if I had a nice Christmas tree and the smell of pine was rushing through my nose would also expedite some feelings of holiday cheer.  Who knows?  I plan on spending most of my time with my sister Arlena...the other single sibling while everyone else spends it with the in-laws, or makes the treacherous trek northward to the great homeland! 

Well, here's hoping this holiday season brings me extra pep and focus for all my new and constant endeavours of the new year!!!